a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
