In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
