'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
