I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
