it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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