i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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