You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize