i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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