He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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