I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
