Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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