benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
