I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
