reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
