Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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