I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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