we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
