There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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