If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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