shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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