And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
