did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize
