I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
