o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
