Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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