omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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