you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize