Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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