No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
