just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
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we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
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Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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