take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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