Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
