i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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