i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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