That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
