i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
