So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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