p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
where does the pee come out of this thing
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
