Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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