I'm laying in your front yard are you home
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
They should really pass out barf bags in church
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
