This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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