its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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