part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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