turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
