before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
