Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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