I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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