we have pet lesbian snakes
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
