Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Sponge bath it is.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize