We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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