He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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