people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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