My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
please come you make the beer taste better
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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