i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
