She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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