um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
