just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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