Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
