My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
