the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
